August 28, 2009

Kryptonite : MP..... Please

“I’m really into music”

Okay I’ll bite but that has to be one of the most painfully generalized statements known to man and besides, there are not very many people who walk the earth who don’t love music. In fact ever since man began leaving behind artifacts and more modern men have been digging them up, there has been endless proof that music has played a very key role in humanity since the beginning of time. So basically “I’m really into music” equates to I breath air. Next.

“I have a massive record collection”

Okay, tell me more big guy. Clearly by the grin our your face you think this also doubles for I have a big penis and know how to use it but go on….

“My computer’s memory is pretty much tapped out because I have so many MP3s.”

Maybe you can hear the sound of my interest in this gentlemen and anything else he has to say in regards to music coming to a screeching halt. The brakes are on, I have left skid marks of disinterest in a comic book cartoon cloud and my focus is already elsewhere.

Let me straighten you out young fella– pushing buttons to nine times out of ten steal songs from whatever music site makes you a thief, not a music fan. Sure we all know there are plenty of rare old ridiculously cool records you can’t find anywhere or afford so the occasional MP3 from a blog is fine but we all know that isn’t the kind of person I take issue with.

I am talking about the beasts who troll torrent sites for new music and download all and anything just because they can. It doesn’t mean you know anything about the music, it just means you have some time and a few fingers or toes to lasso in these records from the internet. Bravo. You have a computer and a mountain of files. And if your computer crashed I bet all that would be left to reflect you being a huge music fan is a fresh from Hot Topic CBGBs shirt and a hangover from whatever show you went to last night and talked through.


  1. you are going to end up writing a book about your return to the record shop, i can just feel it

  2. "I love music" quote reminded me of this local commercial for a painting sale that traveled around to gymnasiums and other random halls in Rockland County, NY. In the commercial this person says "Art? Oh, I love art".

  3. I hate music, it's got too many notes...